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chillatthedisco:

do u ever turn the volume on your music up until u reach the perfect level of ah yes i cannot hear anything else and it feels like a big warm hug

blackumi:

What in fucks name is this flying water

August  31 213,505 notes
Anonymous whispered: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.



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fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

image

and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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humqn:

is your name tumblr because i want to be on you all night long ;)

zeusyallday:

so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane

sassykardashian:

You: Hey why did you unfollow, you were my fav mutual

Me: Fuck all your feelings cause business is business

*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break



August  30 4,241 notes