jakemalik:

seeing a hot stranger in public is a blessing

seeing the same hot stranger in public again is a sign



April  22 99,763 notes
cuntysupreme:

we lost ellen 1 like = 1 prayer

April  22 17,861 notes

heckstasy:

How to Have Sex:

  • spin around
  • S TOP
  • double take tHREE TIMES
  • 1
  • 2
  • PELVICC TTTHHRRUSUUSTT
  • WOOOOOO WOOOOO
  • stop on ur right foot DON TF OREGT IT
  • BRING IT ARROUUNNNDD TOWN BRING IT AROUNNNDDDD TOOOWWWWNNNNNN

koolaidicecubes:

goldenclitoris:

watch out i m a professional flirter *winks with both eyes*

image



April  22 374,638 notes
April  22 297,412 notes
April  22 16,699 notes

sniffing:

when you’re starving and a friend offers you a piece of their food

image



April  22 76,028 notes

textpoops:

Shout out to old people for graduating high school without google

satans-advocate:

sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you

  • Friend: go ask
  • Me: no you go ask
  • Friend: no you
  • Me: fine can i have ketchup
April  22 403,795 notes
April  22 349,339 notes
April  22 648,493 notes